Totally Felt Defeated

It was one of those days. . . . I mean the kind when you feel like a complete failure as a parent!! I don't know if I am exaggerating or not, but it felt like the worst day of child-rearing that I have EVER experienced!! How does it get to this??

I'll tell ya how??

SIN!! Adam and Eve started it!!!

Today, my 2 year old pushed me to the limit!! (I think they are known for that!!) When it was time for a "routine spanking" for general misbehavior, he decided that he wanted to kick and scream bloody murder (so the neighbors could hear). I tried to reason with him and tell him it was making things worse, but he never really "got it!!" Oh my goodness!! I was so MAD at him that I had to leave the room and tell him to wait till Daddy came home because I just couldn't continue to wrestle with him over getting a spanking.

I know that discipline, specifically spanking, is a touchy subject in some circles. Our family has a "spanking routine" that is made to keep peace and is used for correction, not to get anger out. So here is our "routine:"

1. The child is taken to a private location and never spanked publicly.
2. The child is asked if he knows why he is about to get a spanking. We make sure he is completely clear on this.
3. The swat is administered with a spanking tool or paddle.
4. Crying ensues and is calmed.
5. We hug the child and let him know that we love him unconditionally (like Jesus does), even if he had disobeyed.
6. Usually the crying has stopped and then we will let the child pray to Jesus and ask Him to forgive him and help him when the temptation arises again.
7. Then the parent administering the discipline will pray for the child.
8. Then we talk and the child asks forgiveness from parents, siblings or whomever he has offended.
9. Then there is lots of hugs and kisses and talking about how much we love each other.

This process causes great amounts of emotional bonding. It is a fact, that there is a direct correlation between pain and repentance. If it hurts bad enough you are sorry for what caused the pain (in any area of life . . . think about it). It is just a principle that we live by.

Carter, the precious 2 year old mentioned above, has become accustomed to the routine established in our home and he knows what to expect. Well today went awry and I guess we are chalking it up to seeing what he can get away with . . . the ol' "sin nature!!" I am praying for his little mind and spirit as he tries to figure it all out. I love that little munchkin to pieces and I was so mad at myself for getting SOOO frustrated at him today!! He could sense my anger and he was mad at me too. I asked him to forgive me and he said he would, but he was clinging to Daddy, (even though he is the one who actually administered the spanking), because he knew "Mommy was upset."

It made me think about Jesus and the pain He must feel when we disobey Him and then blame Him for it. We've all done it, but today my eyes were opened to His Hurt!!