Those that are not familiar with homeschooling usually believe the stereotypical lie that homeschoolers don't have an opportunity to socialize. They believe that school is the place where children can learn to interact with others and learn the "social skills" that are necessary to live a complete, healthy life. They may never stop to think about the people in life that you know or have met that went to school, but who are completely unsocial or anti-social. You have seen then in your own school days; all alone in the corner of the cafeteria, the one that is so rude and has no social graces, the one that chews with his mouth open at lunch and makes a spectacle of himself. They exist as adults in the work place and in other social settings.
Most of the time, those unsocialized folks weren't homeschooled. They are people that are simply not taught at home how to interact with the world around them in a socially acceptable way.
There is one child that I know who is very unsocialized and that child has been in school/daycare since birth. The child is in "survival mode" making sure that no gets the child's stuff or takes the child's seat. The child carries stuff around all day long so no one will take it. The child yells at other children in order to get away with things or get the point across, so that someone will hear what this little one is trying to say. This child is mean. Sharing is not the norm and is very difficult. The world revolves around this child and everyone is expected to know that. I know for a fact that I have only seen the surface of what this child is capable of socially.
If parents expect the school system, public or otherwise, to teach their children how to socialize PROPERLY, there are going to be kids that are lacking in so many areas of life because this area of socializing affects so much. A teacher with 30 kids in a classroom should not be expected to teach your kids how to play nice, share nice, or talk nice. That is OUR responsibility . . . the parents of said children.
So, that is what I do . . . I teach my kids how to interact with other children of different ages, not just their own age. We actually talk about certain scenarios and how they might act or interact. When we have people over, we talk about the proper way to treat a guest. When my kids go to someone else's house we talk about acceptable social behavior. Since I have them at home with me, especially while they are young, I can be there for them when they are in a situation and need help figuring out what to do, socially. I don't call this tattling . . . . I call it teaching.
As a homeschool family, our opportunities to socialize are enormous. Sometimes I have to tell the kids, "Ok guys time to stop socializing! We need to get some school done!!"
My whole point is . . . I don't want someone else teaching my kids how to socialize. I want to do it!! I am so glad that God has given me the opportunity!! It is my life's most exciting adventure!!
2 comments:
Oh, AMEN!!!!!!! : )
Great post!
Great thoughts, Jamie! You are so right about it not being the responsibility of others to teach our children to socialize. Not to mention, the setting in which so many children do socialize in (school), is probably the worst! I'd like to be a fly on the wall of a school hallway and see and hear all the different methods of "socialization". I'm sure a lot of us parents would be knocked over with a feather by the way children nowadays are "socializing". These type of skills aren't the kind I want my children picking up. Everytime I turn on the evening news and hear a clip of schools and/or teachers, I thank the Lord that He has given me the courage, the patience, and the drive to make a difference in my children's lives. And of course, I also owe a thank you to the "little birdie" who introduced the idea in the first place (wink, wink). :)
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